I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
