she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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