I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
