We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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