You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
