It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
