dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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