I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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