Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
