Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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