you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
