but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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