Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
