haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
