i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize