That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
time to smoke my breakfast
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
