Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
