Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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