"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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