Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
