i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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