This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
