her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
