waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
