We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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