dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
