Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
