i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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