I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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