I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
