how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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