the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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