My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just found puke in my bra..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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