Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish my penis had a tongue
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am naked and annoyed.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
