these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
