No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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