Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize