you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
