Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
