Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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