I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
