When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
