Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
