Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
