remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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