who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
