i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
