I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize