My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
