Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
