We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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