it hurts more in the daytime
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
