I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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