Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
