Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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