If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
