Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my liver is dry heaving
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize