no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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