Don't make out with my wife yet
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
