Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
