Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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