walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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