dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
