So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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