I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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